its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
