ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
