i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
