so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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