we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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