so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
