Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
