Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
