Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
