im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
