Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
