how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
