also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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