i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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