is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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