idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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