don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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