the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
