I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
