my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
