i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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