You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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