So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
