if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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