Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it