ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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