Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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