I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
