okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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