hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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