I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
