i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
