i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize