My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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