If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Welp...herpes.
Fuck appropriateness.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize