At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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