I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
