the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
