hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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