I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
