a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
one two three fourrrrnication!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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