Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
NoShamevember. You game?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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