i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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