So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
