How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
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