I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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