I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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