Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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