If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
