I seem to have left my pride at pride
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i think i just lost a toe
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
