all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
