did you get engaged???
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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