i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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