My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
