I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
