so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
