I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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