If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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