Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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