So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
