im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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