i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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