tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize