She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
