i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
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And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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