Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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