I wish I could punch you in the face.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize