He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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