when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
