I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
