i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
