Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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