I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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